i love babysitting Miri!

 honestly.  babysitting Miri on mondays is such a joy!! <#  i am blissed out to the max and nothing else in the world matters hehe...

i wake up, do my meditation, qigong, play a bit of genshin, and  she usually arrives after ive had breakfast.  jeff brings her over.   Me and her get along so well!  I'm such a favourite of hers <#

i always play with her.  we have so much fun!  she is literally so adorable to me! everything she does heheh... 

one thing i love is that she doesn't sit there and wait to be entertained, she is the one thats constantly thinking of stuff to do!  its so great.

i could talk forever.  after she arrives, i usually take her in a pram to springvale library.  there happens to be a toddlers story time group that very morning each week :D  i like taking her there, cos she has stimulation and interaction with kids and stuff!  its so funny, these days when we arrive and the librarian is reading a story, miri will get up and say come! and take me around the library and do stuff. she likes to do her own thing hahaha.  last week was the cutest.  she grabbed all these books, carefully selecte4d.  and none of them were baby books, they were all adult and young adult books! hahahah

she laid them out carefully on a little table and as kids walked past she would say, "sit?" "read?" "yeah?"

it was sooo cute hehehehe

oh another thing i really love is taking a nap in the afternoon when she does! ideally i would play computer games. buit i watch her so constantly and keep up with her playing, that i'm actually sleepy by the time afternoon comes around, so i figure its good to recharge when she does so i can be good for the second half hehe. so when ido the sleeping routine (read some books, single twinkle twinkle littler star a few times, then put her down.  ;today and also a week or two prior, i just laid in the bed thats in the room there too.  its so fun!! its like we're a team heheh... and she loves it tgoo!  she likes having someone in there ahahah.

yeah i really love it.  i just made this post to put some thoughts down.  cos she grows up so far.  shes not a baby anymore.

oh at the moment she LOVES looking after babies, her baby doll and also the plush baby doll i bought her (which grabbed my atttention as i was walking in parkmore! what a great buy i think it was only 10 or 15 dollars!) its so great.

anyways.. i was thinking, one day she shes all grown up and i dont get these baby sitting mondays, i will miss them so much heheh..

i really cherish and am blissed out every monday.  its super nice.

Lovely Soccer Afternoon With Corinne

 I just had a lovely day with a beautiful girl <3 Even during the afternoon, i was thinking wow.. this is so nice.  Somethings I never expect to happen but this just naturally happened.  Allthough two weeks ago i did get a sudden inspiration to message her about going to the match together.

i wanna preface by saying that quite a number of years ago, there was this big group outing to the museum.  And i chatted to Corinne and we had a short conversation and i remember being stunned by how beautiful she was.  She's always been one of the most beautiful girls ivee known.

We became quite good acquaintances over the years.  I remember one time i arrived somewhere, i think it was one of Kay's events possibly, and when i arrived Corinne came right over to me to say hi and chat! i still remember that and really liked it.

anyways, a few weeks ago we went to the matildas soccer match togther, and Corinne and I caught the same train home.  Corinne asked me if i was planning to go to any Melbourne City matches, and i said oh yeah maybe!  

I took that as an invitation.  And We had had a nice caht on the train ride home and also she was so nice and offered to drive me home from her house in oakleigh and drop me off in springvale (she lives in wheelers hill.  Ive discovered that she has a really good kind, thoughtful heart. Its very nice.

Yeah i think it was the next day or the day after, i got this strong urge to message her to say we should go watch a melbourn city match together.  My brain told me to wait until closer to the day and message, but no.. i went with my guts who told me to message 2 weeks out haha! and she enthusiastically said she would go! if all her house moving had been done :)

and today came and it was so lovely!  it was a 38 degree day, and i walked to the place from cranbourne station. it took me 90 mins. and i enjoyed the walk! i finished listening to dennis rodman audio book on the way hehe.. 

i got there first and then Corinne arrived a bit later.  Oh crap, i remember seeing her in her green dress and wow, shes so attractive hehe

And.. i decided i wasa just gonna enjoy today.  enjoy the moment.  and thats that!  i still remember in the past, with moments like these, i would be thinking how to progress it further, or wishing things would be further along or whatever.  but no.. this time.. i just enjoyed the moment and loved it.

She was so awesome.  She had but all these slices of watermelon, and kept it cool with icepacks, and also had lots of bottles of cold sparkling water to share with me.  it was so good!  we got these palestinian pride flags and that was so Corinnes element, she stuck it in her hair and as we sat in the shade, she was just too beautiful in that moment, i had to take a photo hehe.  I posted it.. and later on, she saw the post and said, oh it looks cool! :D

yay hehe

We watched the match together.. and i loved the vibe.  Corinne mentioned in casey, the match had country footy vibes hehe... and it was quite cool when u thought about it like that.  I truly had a magical afternoon.  And every so often, i would just look over at this beautiful girl standing ne3xt to me, and think wow.. this is so nice!  We had really nice conversations during too.  My favourite was when i was just watching the setting sun, as the match went on, enjoying the magical atmosphere and we chatted about holidays in euroipe and meeting friends from online.  really awesome.

so basically, i had a one on one outing with one of the loveliest girls i know.  I didn't think it would happen, but it did and i loved every second of it :)

sudden flash of insight - its the feeling only that matters

 i was sitting here watching a cdrama, and having the best night! when i had a sudden realisation.  Its the feeling UNDERNEATH.. that is all that matters.

Maybe cos i was tching this drama called Lost You Forever, and theres this character named Tushan Jing, who always seems so lovesick and sad all the time and everything is super dramatic and he gets jealous.. 

and yeah... 

it just reminded me of times in the past when i was focussed on getting things and actions to have certain results.  And the results, when i look back at it.. are almost exactly in tune with how i was feeling. 

Honestly today, i had the literally best day.. and my timing was impeccable!  

can you believe that when we were driving home from the glen after having laksa with uncle and the gam... i got a phone call on my mobile, and i picked up and it was the mechani saying my car was done.  And we were literally like just a few blocks way from springvale.  so my dad could just drop me off near  the bank and i could pick it up. it was so easy! Even my dad couldn't get over how good that was.

honestly... time and time again.. i realise that my mood.. my vibration, my energy... is like the precursor to what comes as a result. its like flawless.

which means... feel bad.. or wanting this or that.. incomplete.... is not good.  just relax and be happy. love.  within every single person there is something you like.

Soo the basic gist is... just feel happy.  play in the zone underneath the surface.  the stuff you can see with the eyes.. its surface.. but the level underneath.. you cant see.. but you can feel.  just play there :)

taylor swift era tickets

 OMG! i am sure i dont need to explain what its like getting taylor swift era tickets!  but i was actually really satisfied. having seen her 2 times before. having a great time.  and yeah,k i was just happy that taylor wasw in town! happy that shw was enjoying herself.  just happy seeing insta stories from my friends that had gone! and enjoying the twitter posts.

i wasnt too worried and actually had a lovely weekend, went to the zoo with miri jeff thao and susie her husband and their kids.  had a LOVELY time.  and was planning on exercising and gaming! but i saw a message in the army chat from mel asking if id checked marketplace for tickets. and i said i did message one person but didn't get a repy.  but i had thought she meant fb marketplace, but she meant ticketek marketplace. 

so i loaded up the page but still just in waiting area.

Mel actually was actively looking for me!! she had found a ticket but it wouldn't let her purchase it. i thought that she was also looking for her daughter or something.. but she said it was for me! awwww...

it was so nice.

and then.. like literally at that point when i was like, letting it go, and just gonna have it in the background and exercise.. i got a message from suze saying that she and troy had a proposition for me and justin.  she asked if we would like to see taylor tomorrow night together!!  ahhhh okg!!!

i was in shockkkkkkkk.

i of couse said yes!! and bam... just like that... tomorrow ill be seeing taylor in concert! the concert i had already given up on seeing! and happily given up too! like i seriously was not yearning for it.

wowowowooww....

i still am in shock.  but happy shock!! <3 yayayayay

badminton CALMNESS kobe mentality wow... its so nice

 I went to play badminton with dad, mo ut and cau ut.  I was having fun hitting around.

Then we started playing matches and i was not playing well.  I tried to focus.. but just wasn't feeling like a factor.

The team was me and dad and we lost both of the first sets.  And he's really good, so it was basically me lol.

Then i remembered the mentality i had when i used to play NBA 2K with the guys.  I remember I had this really tall guy... and before one of the nights, i came across a video of Kobe talking about Steph Curry and how he's deadly cos he sees a CALMNESS

"Theres a calmness about him thats extremely deadly.

Hes not up, he's not down

He's not contemplating what just happened before

Or worrying about whats to come next

He just THERE

And when a player has trained themselves to have the skills to shoot, dribble, left right, etc, and you mix that with this calmness and poise, you have a serious problem on your hands"

Well i basically took the he's not up or down... and did that when i was playing NBA. ... and suddenly i was like.. a force!!  I was like player of the match so often.. and so good! but the thing was.. i was just even!  i wasn't up when i was playing well.. i wasn't down when i missed.. it was just the same the whole time. hehe

well it worked.

and so today, i suddenly remembered that.. and did it. and you wouldn't believe the turn around.  everyone on the court could feel the difference!  i was winning points... and my dad was saying that ive woken up! ehhehe...

and we went  on to win sets after that!  And the whole time.. the only thing i had on my mind was be even.  I dont care about the score.. im gonna feel the same no matter what is happening.  Whether we are down, or up.. i just will not think.. and be relaxed.. and just play.  it was so good!!

and the thing is.. i wasn't WANTING for that to happen.  it just happened.  but i was just focussing on not getting too emotional... and just being not up or down :D

Remarkable.  The mind is an amazing thing.  i remember when i was reading Golf is not a game of perfect.. and i hit my first hole in one during pitch and putt.. and played very well hehe...

i can tread water now! wow

 okay... this is really huge for me.  for much of my life i couldn't swim.  i remember being in high school, and seeing 3 of my friends, i think one of them was Tam, maybe Phillip was in there too.. but they were treading water while talking to us or the teacher or something.  I remember looking at them.. moving their arms and legs in the water and thinking its something i couldn't do.  how could they do that?

well a few years ago, merv askeed me to do tough mudder. and one of the requirements was to be able to dive from a 5m height into water, then swim 50m.

and so for months i kept going to the swimming pool.. and taught myselft to swim!!  i could do freestyle... backstroke.. and breaststroke.  and even on the day of tough mudder, i still remember.. i just did it! I jumped into the lake.. i knew that i would come to the surface.. and then i swam! i tried freestyle but the water was so murky.. i wasn't used to not being able to see.. or maybe i was tired, but i flipped onto my back and did backstroke all thway to shore!  i'm stillso pleased with mysefl about that :D

anyways, flashforward to this year... and Jo invited me to her bday holiday to the gold coast!  she wanted to try this thing called Flyboarding.  At first when i looked at it.. i was like.. errrr.... you go up high and you are in the deep water... i dont think i should.....

i was really close to messaging her to say i'm not a strong swimmer and im not conformatble doing that... but it just felt wrong.

i said nothing.  i decided instead, i would learn how to treadwater... until i was comfortable as a fish in the water!!  and so a few weeks ago, i took the plunge (ahah) and started going back to the clayton pool..  Before i went, i looked at a youtube video on how to treadwater.  this one taught about how to move your arms in the water, and some methods you can use to kick.  They said the flutter kick was the most tiring.  and so i went with the 2nd one, the same kick as the breaststroke kick.  and so i went to the pool and tried it.  i gradually practiced and got more comfortable.  i swear at first, i could only manage a few seconds! like i was thrashing and staying up.. buit just a few seconds and i was buggered.  

but.. i just kept going back to the pool, after work.  and slowly,  it clicked.  

i eventually got to 15 seconds, trhen 20 seconds.. then 30
!!

and eventually.. i go to a minute!! (as in i could to 60.. not full seconds).  but i was so happy.

and after a few days of doing that... it just kinda 'clicked' for me.... and one day i was imagining i was waiting to catch a ball... like in water polo... and i was able to concentrate on that.. and tread water!!

i can do it now!!! ... you dont understand how huge this is for me.  previously... i just could not fathom how people could do that.

now i feel... like i'm floating in a jelly or a layer of something... and its more unconscious.  i feel so much happier.  today i could get to 60 seconds.  well i count to 30 twice ahah... and plus another 10 seconds..

I think also having this confidence that i can tread water... it means i can expend less energy.. cos initially i was literally thrashing hard...  

but... you dont understand how happy it makes me feel.  And i feel extremely confident with the flyboarding now... cos i literally will have a lifejacket on.. and i wont even need to tread water... so its like i'm a better sswimmer than i need to be.  anyways... this was such a good thing.  i'm gonna keep treading water until i can do it for ages... like maybe 20 mins??? haha... 

cos actually before this... i could swim... but i felt like.. if i stopped in the deep end.. i would be a goner if i didn't swim.  but now i feel more confident.  a little confident at least.  i'm gonna keep doing it!

like literally i spend my entire siwmming time just practicing treading water.  and if i swim, its just at the end when im swimming back to get my stuff.. and i use breastsroke, to get more and more comfortable with the kick that i need.

so this is a case of me... staying in it and never leaving..... and look at the results.  it makes me feel so good.

no care factor led to best day ever at tennis with troy and suze

 i was so chill and relaxed about the whole thing./  Even the day before i was due to see the tennis with troy and suze, i was up till 1 or 2am playing games ahaha

i headed to richmond station, everything worked out and i arrived comfortably early.  i hadn't even checked who is playing.  the night before suze messaged and said medvedev is on the day  we go (she knows hes myh fav!)

how lucky is that.  i was like, oh, i hope we can go see him practice.

so in the morning, i check the practice schedule, and medvedevs practice is at 10am. perfect!  his match was on at 12pm.  so perfect! we entered the tennis at 10am, went to the practice court.  There was so ppl there and troy said we can stand over there, the fence is empty there.  We got there, and then medvedev arrived like just a few minutes after ahahah!! He stays on our side of the court the whole time!! so we got totake great photos and videos hehe! yay!

and then suze suggested we try upgrading our groundpass tix to margaret court arena tix to see him, and i was like yes! we went to the booth.  and suze hoped to get an aisle seat.  but the lady at the counter said she cant  choose the seats, its automatic.  And so we were like, sure!  we upgraded our tix.. and whoa we got seats very close to the front, in the shaded side, and aisle seat! wow ahahah... i sear we didn't plan anything, but ended up with the best day hahahaha

and i got to see my fav player playing! and he won! yipppee!!

so thats what happens when you dont really care, and are just happy and go with the flow hahah :D 

I leterlaly had not planned a single thing for that day.  i hadn't even looked at which matches were on to see who's playing lol!

people are loving medvedev yay

 daniil medvedev is my fav tennis player (after sharapova retired).  I started liking him years ago, when i saw that he was so honest in interviews and uust says what he thinks.  He said nice things about Novak during the time when novak was being blasted by the general public for coming to the aus open but having not been vaccinated(
i was fine with ti).  and there were times the medi showed medvedev cracking it when he was playing against tsitsipas and he was angry his opponents dad was talking to him the whole time.  I remember whenever i would post support for medvedev, id often get some ppl commenting that thye hated him etc

anyways, hes still my fav and always has been. even if i m the only one that i know that supports him.  even angela messaged me last week and asked me an honest question and asked whjy i liked medvedev. and i told her  basically cos hes honest and doesn't give politically correct answers just to be liked or to avoid controversy.  and also because he never gives up.

she thanked me for giving my perpective on it.

i'm thankful that Suze knows i like medvedev and she told me he was playing on the day we decided to go tot he aus open.  and we got to see him practice yay! it was so great!  and i asked Suze's bf who his fav player was, and he said i guess medvedev. and i was really happy he said that.

anyways, medvedev has really been gaining so much popularity this tournament.. and he isn't even trying to be loved.  He said that hes trying to change somethings since the end of last year.  He said it used to be like theres 10,000 people in the audience and there might be 1 person who claps a double fault and it would annoy him.  and he said by the end of the season he was so tired mentally.  But hes been doing a lot of thinking and now his focus more on himself rather than on external factors.  Like he knows what he wants, where he's going, what he needs to do.  

Even when people ask about how he feels about the finals match where he was up 2 sets against nadal but somehow nadal came back to win it.  He said that he is 100% left that in the past now.  He onlyu focusses on the present and where he's goiing.

Hes got this happy content smile on his face that really nice to see.  HE's been having some great on court interviews with jim courier that have been so great! and even mcenroe talked ot him today and it was so good too.  The crod loves him.

OH! i just wanna day the day we saw medvedev, suze suggested we upgrade out ground pass tickets to margaret court tix so we could see meddy. and when he entered the arena, i whistled for him and during the match when he won sets and at the end!  i wanted him to know he had some supporters in australia!!

and now when i see interviews, he getsw big applause and ppl love him! its great!  basically, this post is about... how ii am 100$ sure that his change in attitude, has led to his success this year and also people loving him.

like now when hes down 2 sets and its 2am in the mrning, hes thining i dont think i could get a 6 hour flight back home, ill stay another day in australia. and during his 5 set win today in the quarters, he came to the net a bit for crucial points. and he said its cos he was tired and he thought, i either make iit or i go home tomorrow, its not a big deal ahah!!

like...  its so cool for me to see him so chill now.  like a few years ago he did crack it... but now i feel like he does his best and its not life or death to him anymore.  i makes me really happy...  and lieterally he is not trying to make people love him.. but people just like him now! yay.