I was not even TRYING to achieve anything. I had had a lovely day, with my sis and miri for lunch in springvale with Quynh and Lynn at Hikaru Suchi (a sushi train!). It was so lovely. Lisa had a sore back so I held Miri in my arms the whole time. As always she was just so awesome! So chill and just happy to look around and observe everything. Towards the end of the lunch, she yawned a little and i sensed she was getting sleepy. So i put her in a more horizontal position in my arms. She did that thing where she turned her head so she could see what was happening behind her (which meant she was staring out the glass window into the cold semi empty carpark.
Anyways, very soon, she quietly drifted off to sleep. It was such a wonderful moment. I loved it.
Anyways, in the afternoon, after I had played Genshin (leveling up Jean nicely!) and went for a 5\km jog and then did my calis exercises. After dinner and having done dishes I was "done". And I felt like I wanted to just be happy.
In the Tao sense. Of living a uselyss life. I wanted it. Whatever I chose to do, I just wanted to be happy. To do exactly what I wanted to do.
I past week or two, I had been feeling slightly overwhelmed because I had been playing Genshin and loving it. Then Honkai Star Rail came out. Which was also really fun. And then Zelfa Tears of the Kingdom also came out and was fun. And Diablo 4 is coming out in a few days. I felt like I was behind and couldn't keep up. Expecially cos Genshin and Star Tail are gacha, which means there resin to use up all the time, otherwise I feel like its wasting if its capped.
But after I had done the dishes, I decided to just do some karaoke with my karaoke mic connected to my pc and headphones. and not doing it to IMPROVE SINGING> Not doing it for any external reason. Except that I wanted to at the time. it wasn't ACHIEVING anything. In some sense, it was wasting time. Cos it was not helping me finish this backlog of games I had. And yet.. as soon as I started (I chose Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley ahahah).. i immediately began to have fun! I simply enjoyed singing. And the past few years I have been practicing singing in a higher pitch. And I really do feel its getting easier. And a lot of the time in the high ranges my voice nautally does that vibrating thing voices do.. and I love it!
Anyways,I just sand whatever song I felt like. And was enjoying the fact I could do karaoke, and sing literally any song I wanted. And I atually began to really play with the lines, and enjoy delivering them. And I really loved the sound! Not that I was caring to do it "good"., I was simply doing it.
And I even sang Unholy and Love Again by Kid Laroi. And I loved it!! It was so fun. I wasn't just sining these lines.. i was playing!
And when I did Unholy, I felt like I wanted to draw Alhairtham. But i would want to do it in the same way I was doing the karaoke. Just playing and enjoying it. Doing it because I enjoyed it.
Anyways, I was in the vortex. I was not trying to get in there. I literally had chosen an activity my 'rational' brain would think is a 'waste of time'. But It was amazing.
And now if I do it again, I must remember the whole point was that it was not for any ulterior motive or purpose.
Oh today at lunch with thao, lynn, quynh and miri, I actually did stop myself and simply enjoyed the wonderful moment. Loved it.
No comments:
Post a Comment